We just seized a ship on the high seas, stuck 1.85 million barrels in our pocket for “safekeeping,” and announced a “total blockade” of sanctioned tankers: details to be provided once the lawyers stop blinking in Morse code. Caracas calls it piracy; we call it freedom fries for oil. Tomato, tomahto, says the armada.
If this sounds less like statecraft and more like Ocean’s Eleven but with subpoenas, that’s because it is. We’ve mixed civil forfeiture paperwork with carrier strike groups and set the blender to “optics.” The “plan” appears to be: (1) seize a VLCC, (2) tell every sanctioned tanker to stay put, (3) declare the biggest armada ever, (4) staple “FTO” to an entire government like it’s a parking ticket, and (5) dare the world to call our bluff.
Here’s the kindergarten version: if you don’t want your neighbor to shout “thief,” maybe don’t show up on his curb, grab his wallet, and then promise to grab every wallet with the same brand of leather. Yes, the neighbor is a crook. That’s why you bring cops and courts, not blockades and press releases that lawyers have to explain using footnotes from 1962.
Meanwhile, real‑world consequences: tankers U‑turn, many cargoes stall, discounts blow out to −$20+ vs Brent, and ordinary Venezuelans (already crushed by their own regime) get squeezed again. China shrugs and buys elsewhere. The only people smiling? Insurance underwriters and propagandists. They both get paid.
And if this is about a poll bump, two words from the literature: Don’t. Count. On. It. Small, temporary rallies happen; long wars shred presidencies. If the strategy is “declare a blockade and watch the numbers rise,” that’s diversionary foreign policy for people who didn’t do the reading.
EDW•
