By Executive Dysfunction Weekly

Then-president-elect (and apparently full-time crypto hustler) Donald J. Trump unveiled a meme-based cryptocurrency, aptly named the $TRUMP coin, on January 17, 2025, three days before striding back into the Oval Office for his second term.

Yes, you read that correctly. A memecoin. With his own face on it.

The best part?

By early May, Chainalysis estimated that the token’s creators had collected more than $320 million in trading fees.

Of course they did. Why wouldn’t they? Trump’s presidency has always felt like reality TV meets shady casino, and now we have the digital equivalent, complete with questionable profits, shadowy investors, and ethics concerns so glaring even Congress paused its nap long enough to gasp in collective shock.

But hold onto your MAGA hats; it gets better. Months after the January 2025 launch, a May 22 promotional event featured a swanky black-tie dinner at Trump’s own Virginia golf club, where only the top crypto holders (many anonymous, many foreign) were invited.

One lucky winner even shelled out millions to secure face-time with Trump.

Because nothing screams democracy like pay-to-play dinners where your seat at the table literally depends on how many presidential-themed digital tokens you buy.

Forget Trump University or NFT baseball cards; this is the grift of the century. Trading in creator-linked liquidity pools generated fees for Trump-related entities; not every transfer on every platform paid such a fee. Ethical watchdogs are howling foul, legal scholars are sputtering terms like “emoluments,” and even typically sleepy Senators are scrambling to pass laws against this kind of blatant presidential crypto-cash grab.

Trump’s defenders?

They say it’s all harmless fun.

Just a patriotic billionaire with a newly-minted digital currency promoting American interests (coincidentally stuffing his pockets along the way). After all, this is Trump, the self-described “Crypto President,” whose administration claims it’s absurd to even hint he might be enriching himself.

We beg to differ. Loudly.

This isn’t some cute, ironic digital meme-fest. It’s a sitting U.S. president openly profiting off his office, with shadowy international players dropping millions on tokens that grant them dinner access and raise serious questions about influence.

Call it what it is: corruption, now available on the blockchain.

Remember when we thought the presidency couldn’t get any more cartoonishly absurd?

We stand corrected.

EDW•