In his latest visionary masterpiece, President Trump proudly unveiled an executive order humorously labeled “Restoring Gold Standard Science.”
Translation: facts, reality, and independent research were always overrated distractions anyway.
Now, a senior political appointee designated by each agency head will oversee reviews of alleged scientific-integrity violations, including corrections and possible disciplinary referrals. To us, that puts a political gatekeeper dangerously close to the lab bench. Because who better to determine scientific validity than someone whose only lab experience is figuring out how to microwave popcorn without burning it?
Picture the risks we see in this new golden era of science:
• Pesky scientific findings about climate change getting you down? Fear not! A politically aligned yes-man can “correct” them into oblivion faster than you can say “fake news.”
• Transparency, schmancparency! Everything will be publicly available, well, except those annoying bits that contradict official narratives, obviously.
• Want to communicate groundbreaking research findings?
Slow your roll, Einstein!
First, pass your findings through someone who likely believes gravity is just another liberal hoax.
Remember when science was about actual scientists, peer review, and critical thinking?
Oh, the quaint nostalgia.
Now, we’re blessed with a “choose your own scientific adventure”, where reality can be conveniently rewritten by someone who probably thinks photosynthesis is a Photoshop technique.
This isn’t restoring anything; it’s a hostile takeover sponsored by magical thinking.
Let’s hope you live in a state where recreational marijuana is legal, folks, because you’re definitely going to need it to survive this nonsense.
Stay sarcastically informed and heavily medicated, friends!
EDW•
